“What else was in it for me? Just to say I had done it? To look back in 20 years and then understand why I did it? That made as much sense as anything to me standing in the kitchen of a stranger’s house in Louisville.”
– The excerpt above is Jay talking to himself in “Back outta the World.”
Three reasons why I write
#1 I am having a great time looking back at me. Through the revising process, I am getting a clearer understanding of who I was, and who I am now. And perhaps most importantly, who I want to become. I do believe the newer, current me is writing a better Back outta the World than the one I wrote two decades ago. To put it simply, I see so many opportunities to improve. I see them just sitting there in the older version saying ‘change me, enliven me, describe me”. For example, it now drives me crazy that I wrote so much in the passive voice back then. This can be quite a humbling process, which in turn creates a nice vantage point to realize that we as people are never a finished product. And never will be. That wouldn’t be any fun now would it?
It is fun
#2 It is fun! My writing process is not a gut wrenching process. I do not spend hours searching for the perfect word. If I still used paper to write, I wouldn’t fill a waste basket with rolled up pages of crumpled pages of paper. I am not saying it easy. Therefore, I think it would be more accurate to say that, at least for me, one cannot be taught to write, but you can learn how to write.
I go at writing by first clearing, cleansing and energizing my mind. I begin to understand and notice my subconscious mind in order to trust it to supply me with what I need when I do sit down to write. It usually works. In this way, my time actually at the keyboard is productive. I am usually “in the zone”, having done most of my writing during yoga, mediation, on the cross-trainer, blogging or even while driving, cutting the grass or journaling.
#3 I do for it me, me, me! I most likely will never sell enough books to be recognized by Amazon or whoever. Whatever. I not doing this for that type of validation as such. The validation I seek cannot be measured by any instrument created by humankind. Sounds a bit pretentious, eh? Well, it ain’t. I have come believe that writing my fictions and blog helps me see myself. These writings are a mirror to look closely at who I am. You are reading words, I see a reflection. Totally selfish. I can look at myself all day and not be bored. You may be bored already. If so, there is always Twitter.
To clarify, I am writing to this mirror in order to produce a better reflection for me to look at. Yes, and I when leave the house and head into the world to share me, it will with the intention that I have a little bit better version to give to you all. I do this with the belief that most of the good in this world in done via small, nearly invisible acts of kindness or grace, performed on a daily basis. So, there you go.